Do you ever wonder?

Tonight as I was tucking in the girls for bed, I could hear Micah grunting. She was irritated with her bed as it was squeaking when she would move, so she insisted on holding the rail and trying to keep in quiet. I sat down and said, "Do you know that this bed belonged to Meme several years ago?" Micah looked at me and said, "Really?" I told her that this bedframe was in Meme's house and that is where company would sleep when they came (it's a day bed by the way).
She immediately got that little bottom lip and stuck it out. I said, "Micah, why are you looking sad?" She just sat up and said, "Cause she is not here." I told her it was okay and that she was with Jesus in heaven. Then Micah went from talking about my mother to talking about "My other mother" (which is my Nanny.) I asked her if she was getting a bit confused and she said yes. Then she wanted to know if I had any pictures of when my mother wasn't old and I was little so she could see me with my Mom. I told her I would find them so she could see her.
When it was time to pray, Micah asked if she could pray, so I agreed. When she prayed and got close to the end of her prayer, she said, "God, can you tell Meme hello for us and tell her that we love her and miss her here." Amen.

I am constantly amazed at Micah's prayers and how they just flow with such ease. There have been times when Micah will tell me that she knows Meme and that she has met her....when in reality, I don't see that as being possible. I saw my mother at the end May at her house and Ted and Hannah and I all went and Mom took me shopping for the baby on the way and we had tea parties and we sat and played and talked and then she rested alot because the chemo was so hard on her. When we left that weekend, it was hard, but I was fully thinking that it was just going to be a little while and then we would be back together and she would be holding our new baby.
Well, that didn't happen. She got sick and was in the hospital for almost 5 days before anyone called and told me. I had called the house several time and got no answer so decided to call the hospital and she was there. My Mom and I talked, but we didn't talk every day ; more like every 3 days. We called each other about 3 times a week. She was sick and sleeping alot and I was on bedrest. There were other circumstances concerning my brother that I won't go into, but he didn't help matters any.
Well, when she got sick, the doctor called me and let me know how things were going because my brother wouldn't call and tell me anything.
At the advice of my mother's doctor, if I wanted to see my mother alive, then I needed to get there (to Midland), so we borrowed a minivan from a friend and we drove to Midland...(Ted drove and I layed flat for 5 hours.)
We visited Mom in the hospital and Hannah would sit on her bed and talk to her. I spent every waking hour there with Mom and she would touch my belly and talk to Micah. She would talk about how Hannah was growing and how she couldn't wait to meet our new baby. Sunday came and we had to go back home. I couldn't be on my feet much longer and I had really over done it. Telling my mother goodbye that day was the most difficult thing ever. I got sick after leaving her room and barely made it to the bathroom. I sat on the floor and just wept. Poor Ted. He was on the other side of the door with Hannah who wasn't even 4 yet. I gained composure and stood at my mother's door waving and crying and trying not to let her see me cry. ( I knew that when we left that day, I was not going to see her alive again.) I cried and wept and slept all the way home.
We continued to talk on the phone each day and her medicine was getting stronger so talking was hard. Micah was born on July 2nd. I went home on July 4th and things were very tough. Mom got to see pics of Micah as the caseworker at the hospital took them to her. I remember her saying, "She has so much hair." (it was jet black!)
on July 7th, we took Micah her appt. and she was jaundiced, so we had to put her in a hospital bed at our home and she was under the blue lights for 4 days. I couldn't leave her and I couldn't get to my Mom. (Note: My Dad was there when Micah was born and he was there with us in perhaps the most difficult time in my life and I don't know what we would have done with out him!) He stayed 5 days with us and was so very helpful.
On July 9th, Mom went into a coma. We could still talk to her but she couldn't talk to us. The doctor said she can hear us so we called each day until my brother decided to unplug the phone. My grandparents couldn't get to their daughter nor could we. It was terrible. I won't go into the detail of all the anger that happened, but it wasn't pretty.
So, on July 11th at 4 or so am, Ted came in and woke me and told me that my Momma was gone.

So, do you ever wonder if God can create a time for a dying person to meet a soon to be born child? Micah has told me on more than once occasion that she has met my mother. I have never doubted her or questioned her. Honestly, I don't know the answer to this. Only God knows and I think I like that answer. Who am I to tell Micah she hasn't met her. My Nanny always told me that when babies smile in their sleep that the angels are talking to them....well, maybe my Momma was that angel?

I miss her.